All right! I've had just about enough of this pusillanimous pandering, this putrescently prodigious, pirotechnically ponderous whining from you guys! Every issue, one of us in the hello cards apologizes about being late. I've had it!

Don't you realize that with the way archipelago, this grand tea dance of the mind and soul, is set up we would never know if you're late with your transit disks or not! And you John, why do you complain about our voice card output! AhhhYiiii! Don't we ever look up at the moon, or lie on our backs on the grass and watch the clouds pass and the seasons spin out their cycles, or feel the tides blush and run not only in the sea but in our very blood itself?

The universe is made up of rhythms, of inhalation and exhalation, of resting states and active states. Archipelago is more like a living organism than a cold, metallic, predictable machine. Like a tree, we go through slower periods of growth when we store up energy; other times we spurt in growth and the voice cards proliferate like the autumn leaves on my lawn.

John, you are a good gardner, you tend the Archipelago tree admirably, even brilliantly. But have faith! This tree won't wither up. The roots are too strong. And everybody (even me, especially me), stop kevetching already!