PADDY'S NOTE

Kind friends I write this note
To you to tell you of me plight
And at the time of writing
I am not a pretty sight
Me body is all black and blue,
Me face a deathly gray
And so I write to say why
Paddy's not at work today

While working on the fourteenth floor
Some bricks I had to clear
To throw them down from such a height
Was not a good idear
The foreman wasn't very bright,
He being an awkward sod
He said I'd have to cart them
Down the ladder in me hod

To carry all them bricks by hand
It was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel
And secured the rope below
But in me haste to do the job
I was too blind to see
That a barrel filled with
Building blocks was heavier than me

So when I did untie the rope
The barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope,
I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket
And to my dismay I found
That halfway up I met
The bloody barrel coming down

The barrel broke me shoulder
As to the ground it sped
And at the top I met
The bloody pulley with me head
I clung on tight though numbed
With shock from this almighty blow
When the barrel spilled out half the bricks
Some fourteen floors below

Now when the bricks had spilled out
From the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel
And I started down once more
I clung on tightly to the rope
As I sped towards the ground
And landed on the broken bricks there,
Lying all around

I lay there moaning on the ground
And thought I'd passed the worst
When the barrel hit the pulley wheel,
And then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me,
'Twas then I gave up hope
And, lying there upon the ground,
Let go the bloody rope

The barrel then was heavier
And started down once more
And landed right across me
As I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my right arm
And so I'm here to say
That I hope you understand
Why Paddy's not at work today