I can't thank you enough for all of your suggestions on how to deal with my problem with lettuce. The diversity in approach was noteworthy. Let me summarize.

Stuart suggested the positive approach: Rather than struggle with dull, ordinary iceberg, try tastier varieties. Paul suggested negative reinforcement: Eat the lettuce to avoid something worse, like anchovy paste. Drury's solution was avoidance, citing evidence that lettuce has no redeeming values in either fiber or nutrients.

I intend to try all of these approaches - at different times. Two weeks for each one. Admittedly, I'm partial to avoidance, although I'd like to try the other two because my problem with lettuce goes beyond lettuce. Like if I'm at a restaurant and am served a plate of salad, whoever is there with me ordinarily doesn't want to hear what I think about lettuce. If I don't say it, I keep staring at the plate. They ask if something's wrong, and I say no, it's just that I don't like lettuce, and then that convinces them that there really is something wrong, and then anything can happen.

So I think it would be easier just to learn to like lettuce, even if technically it's not doing me any good.