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More wise words

Voice Card  -  Volume 18  -  Paul Card Number 5  -  Sat, Jan 26, 1991 11:01 AM







This is a response to VC 17 Paul 13 ("Wise Words")...
  • "He's a great player. He ceases to amaze me every day."

    - Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach Ray Perkins

  • "If God had meant us to walk about naked we would be born with no clothes on."

    - Unknown person commenting on opening of a nudist (naturist) beach

  • "Swimming unsafe if water level is above this sign"

    - Sign in middle of lake, Boca Raton, FL

  • "Live Music, Old Age Pensioners, Half Price Guinness"

    - Disco advt in the Galway Observer

  • "For those viewers watching TV in black and white, the pink ball is the one in front of the reds."

    - TV commentator Rex Williams re: Embassy world snooker tourney

  • "...his first trip overseas in many years..."

    - South African Radio on Col. Gadhafi's 1986 trip from Lybia to Zambia

  • "Unfortunately, not all the people in Louisiana are racists."

    - US Vice President Dan Quayle, on white supremacist David Duke

  • "Contraceptive breakthrough: 50 mothers involved."

    - Galway Advertiser

  • "What people don't seem to realise is that Tallaght is the second biggest town in Ireland, after Dublin and Cork."

    - Mayor of Tallaght, in television interview

  • "The leading indicators seem to be lagging a bit."

    - David Wyss, DRI-McGraw Hill stock analyst

  • "People have been having babies for centuries, haven't they?"

    - Geoff Boycott

  • "Luncheon Buffet, 7 days a Week, Monday to Friday"

    - Menu in an Ontario Indian Restaurant

  • "[I support efforts] to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate."

    - Vice President Dan Quayle

  • "Prices have been reduced by as much as ten percent ... and more."

    - Advt on unidentified radio station

  • "If our team just scored a couple of more touchdowns, it would have been a totaly different game."

    - Newscaster re: game lost by two TDs

  • "This new environmental bill ... is completely transparent to the Irish public. Everyone will be able to see it in action."

    - Padraig Flynn, TD

  • "Prerequisites are not required."

    - LiveWire, 10 Dec 90

  • "Digital is...stressing sails of the flagship VAX line in Europe."

    - Wall Steet Journal, 12 Dec 90

  • "Place in locked position to lock"

    - Sign on cigarette dispenser

  • "Britain is not an island...well, yes it is, but..."

    - Unidentified MP, on BBC Radio 4

  • "The President continues to surprise people, so I am not surprised to be surprised."

    - US Secy of Defense Dick Cheney

  • "President Bush is due to address the nation in approximately 20 minutes precisely."

    - Peter Jennings, ABC News

  • "Mobile launchers are more difficult to detect because they move around, unlike fixed launchers."

    - Katie Coucik, NBC News

  • "Continuous coverage of the war in the Persian Gulf will resume in a moment."

    - Tom Brokaw, NBC News

  • "We have good reason to believe he was stabbed. There was a sharp object sticking out of his chest".

    - Lt. R. Travis, Newburgh, NY, Police Dept, cited in National Lampoon calendar

  • "The City of Rochester (Michigan) is considering a ban on smoking at the park because people are leaving their butts on the beach."

    - Announcer, WJR Radio, Detroit, MI

  • "Men between the ages of 18 and 25 must register for the draft on their 18th birthday."

    - Sign in a US Post Office

  • "This door must not be opened under any circumstances."

    - Sign outside a fire exit in a hotel

  • "We have to expect it, otherwise we would be surprised."

    - Unidentified general officer, re: Gulf war.

  • "Yo-Yo Ma and Bobby McFerrin together again for the first time."

    - Ellen Kushner on "Caravan", WGBH radio, Boston

  • "It is mandatory that tenderers provide proof that the specified performance requirements are likely to be achieved by the proposed system."

    - Request for Quotation from unidentified prospective client

  • "President Union will address the nation on the state of the Bush."

    - Hampton Pearson, news reporter, WBZ TV

  • "Sir James Spicer...has officially opened a lavatory at the Piddle Valley First School near Dorchester."

    - VNS #2244 Main News, 23 Jan 90

  • "Tensions in Latvia...are tense..."

    - WBZ Radio, Boston, 21 Jan 91, news



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