This issue's installment Voice Card  -  Volume 22  -  Paul Card Number 7  -  Thu, Oct 31, 1991 9:47 PM This is a response to VC 21 Paul 10 ("More Bloopers")... "In my new job I'll organize material which isn't available at the moment." - Email from unidentified individual "And welcome to the Central Park on this the first Monday of the week." - DJ at night club "Please call immediately if you don't receive this." - Note appended to a FAX message "[Stratus Computer] stuck with fault-tolerant computers, designed to keep working even if no parts fail." - Boston Globe article "When Hugo hit South Carolina, Charlotte was devastated by tomatoes." - Remark on hurricanes' potential for tornadoes "If you are sitting in an exit row and can not read this card please tell a crew member." - Safety information card in America West Airline seat pocket "Except as provided in FAR 91.213, all instruments and equipment installed on an aircraft MUST BE OPERATIVE IN ORDER FOR THE OPERATOR TO OPERATE IT." - FAA advisory circular "Inexpensive Quality Daycare, Openings Day and Night" - Sign in front yard, York, Maine "Tomorrow is going to look like a whole different day." - CNN Prime News weather person "The Red Sox have another victory in the win column." - Jim Boyd, WCVB-TV News, Boston "Three white matching Victorian fireplaces. Can be sold as a pair. #1,500 o.n.o. each." - Articles for Sale, Irish Times, 22 Aug 1991 "Hurricane Bob is upon us! Don't go out and gawk at the damage, let us do that for you!" -Channel 13 News, Portland ME 8/19/91 "The stock went flat because the FDA didn't approve a new breast implant..." - Nightly Business Report on PBS "The first day of autumn will begin early next Monday morning." - Vermont Public Radio "I always thought that Californians were smarter; they don't spend a lot of time watching TV, they spend it...watching the radio." - DJ, Bay Area Radio Station K101 "Honesty, courage, and loyalty, all free for just $18.00 per ticket." - Radio station advert for a musical play "You'll probably see a lot of people who aren't here anymore." - Heard in re an impending meeting "I always play better when I'm playing." - Scottish golfer, on BBC Radio 5 "Dean Saunders has been given a free transfer in his time but that performance tonight shows why he is worth that sort of money." - Des Lynham after a Liverpool match "The system ...features a talking actor; you choose from three, either male or female." - VNS #2415 TECHNOLOGY WATCH "I don't plan on making any offensive personnel changes." - Miami Dolphins Coach Don Shula "Now Open - The Rustic Mansion Gift Shop featuring New Pre-Owned Antiques" - Ad in the 1590 Broadcaster (local tabloid) "We may have an intangible which is hard to measure." - Remark at a budget meeting "I see this as similar but different in a lot of respects." - Rich Trewthewy, This Old House, PBS "Ground ball to Kelly at third. It'll be a long throw... and it's a short throw." - John Gordon, Minnesota Twins announcer "Make sure you don't get locked into Open Systems." - Overheard at Computer Conference "We never get weather like that here, but when we do, it doesn't last long." - Southern California TV Weatherman "MINISTERS TO TARGET SIX-YEAR-OLDS IN BID TO BEAT LAWLESSNESS" - Banner headline, The Sunday Times, 15 Sep "Lieutenant Dissorro just gave me what could be considered a very passionate kiss in the torpedo bay." - Brent Spiner (Lt Cdr Data), on Star Trek: The Next Generation "Cuthbertson has already kicked no goals, and that's not one either." - Rex Hunt, Radio 3AW, Melbourne "I watched Stynes thinking as he got the ball to Viney and kicked a goal." - Stan Alves, Radio 3LO, Melbourne