UpAboutMore


This issue's installment

Voice Card  -  Volume 22  -  Paul Card Number 7  -  Thu, Oct 31, 1991 9:47 PM







This is a response to VC 21 Paul 10 ("More Bloopers")...
  • "In my new job I'll organize material which isn't available at the moment." - Email from unidentified individual
  • "And welcome to the Central Park on this the first Monday of the week." - DJ at night club
  • "Please call immediately if you don't receive this." - Note appended to a FAX message
  • "[Stratus Computer] stuck with fault-tolerant computers, designed to keep working even if no parts fail." - Boston Globe article
  • "When Hugo hit South Carolina, Charlotte was devastated by tomatoes." - Remark on hurricanes' potential for tornadoes
  • "If you are sitting in an exit row and can not read this card please tell a crew member." - Safety information card in America West Airline seat pocket
  • "Except as provided in FAR 91.213, all instruments and equipment installed on an aircraft MUST BE OPERATIVE IN ORDER FOR THE OPERATOR TO OPERATE IT." - FAA advisory circular
  • "Inexpensive Quality Daycare, Openings Day and Night" - Sign in front yard, York, Maine
  • "Tomorrow is going to look like a whole different day." - CNN Prime News weather person
  • "The Red Sox have another victory in the win column." - Jim Boyd, WCVB-TV News, Boston
  • "Three white matching Victorian fireplaces. Can be sold as a pair. #1,500 o.n.o. each." - Articles for Sale, Irish Times, 22 Aug 1991
  • "Hurricane Bob is upon us! Don't go out and gawk at the damage, let us do that for you!" -Channel 13 News, Portland ME 8/19/91
  • "The stock went flat because the FDA didn't approve a new breast implant..." - Nightly Business Report on PBS
  • "The first day of autumn will begin early next Monday morning." - Vermont Public Radio
  • "I always thought that Californians were smarter; they don't spend a lot of time watching TV, they spend it...watching the radio." - DJ, Bay Area Radio Station K101
  • "Honesty, courage, and loyalty, all free for just $18.00 per ticket." - Radio station advert for a musical play
  • "You'll probably see a lot of people who aren't here anymore." - Heard in re an impending meeting
  • "I always play better when I'm playing." - Scottish golfer, on BBC Radio 5
  • "Dean Saunders has been given a free transfer in his time but that performance tonight shows why he is worth that sort of money." - Des Lynham after a Liverpool match
  • "The system ...features a talking actor; you choose from three, either male or female." - VNS #2415 TECHNOLOGY WATCH
  • "I don't plan on making any offensive personnel changes." - Miami Dolphins Coach Don Shula
  • "Now Open - The Rustic Mansion Gift Shop featuring New Pre-Owned Antiques" - Ad in the 1590 Broadcaster (local tabloid)
  • "We may have an intangible which is hard to measure." - Remark at a budget meeting
  • "I see this as similar but different in a lot of respects." - Rich Trewthewy, This Old House, PBS
  • "Ground ball to Kelly at third. It'll be a long throw... and it's a short throw." - John Gordon, Minnesota Twins announcer
  • "Make sure you don't get locked into Open Systems." - Overheard at Computer Conference
  • "We never get weather like that here, but when we do, it doesn't last long." - Southern California TV Weatherman
  • "MINISTERS TO TARGET SIX-YEAR-OLDS IN BID TO BEAT LAWLESSNESS" - Banner headline, The Sunday Times, 15 Sep
  • "Lieutenant Dissorro just gave me what could be considered a very passionate kiss in the torpedo bay." - Brent Spiner (Lt Cdr Data), on Star Trek: The Next Generation
  • "Cuthbertson has already kicked no goals, and that's not one either." - Rex Hunt, Radio 3AW, Melbourne
  • "I watched Stynes thinking as he got the ball to Viney and kicked a goal." - Stan Alves, Radio 3LO, Melbourne



UpAboutMore