Dear Drury:

I'm afraid I can't agree that our minds recover from childhood injuries like "scraped knees and elbows." Yes the mind is remarkably resilient, and yes we shouldn't spend our lives blaming our parents for things they did or did not do to us as children, but, having spent a few years with a woman who was abused as a child, I can testify that mind injuries are far more complex and difficult to deal with than scraped knees.

You say that "the majority of our 'mind' injuries will heal, if we stop 'picking' at them." But this inability to stop picking IS the injury. When a loved one is suffering from depression or severe neurosis it is tempting to give them a good shaking and yell "Cheer up already!" But that doesn't work.

Ironically, people who suffer from these mind injuries often have deeper insights into their own problems than anyone else. They've read all the literature, have endured years of therapy, maybe even have a doctorate in psychology. And all this knowledge doesn't do the least bit of good.

I agree with everything else you and Yumi have talked about in this tree. Those who blame their misfortunes on parents or others end up feeling powerless; they can accept neither blame nor praise. I think it is essential to take responsibility for your own life. But for those poor souls who have serious "mind injuries," and there are A LOT of such people, this is easier said than done.