Still Black and White

Voice Card  -  Volume 4  -  Larry Card Number 9  -  Fri, Jan 6, 1989 9:04 PM

This is a response to volume 3, John Card Number 5 ("A Black and White Issue")...

{See Vol 4 Larry 11}

Let me respond by challenging a couple of your comments.


- You say "But I don't agree that women find it easy to deal with men. Although many women are more articulate than men and this surely helps on the surface, I think deep down that women suffer just as much as men do from the different 'cultures'."

- I say: I don't think I said (and if I did, I didn't really mean it) that women find it easy to deal with men. They're just better at it then men are with women. I agree completely that women suffer just as much as men do and that they don't find it easy.

Let me take an extreme black and white example. In the 30's and 40's, I'm sure that most Blacks didn't find it easy to play the subservient role in White society. But a subservient role was the only acceptable role in White society and most Blacks pulled it off. They were able to deal with Whites. I doubt very much that most Whites would have been as successful in adapting to the Black culture if they had found themselves in Harlem.

The point is, that on the surface, Blacks are dealing better with a White culture than Whites are (or would) with a Black culture. Similarly, as you say, women are more adept "on the surface." But isn't the surface what really matters? Feelings, and emotions, and thoughts, and ideas are wonderful - but how important are they if they cannot be brought to the surface?


You say "Although we live in a male-dominated society, men and women need each other in ways other opposing cultural groups do not, and as a result neither culture eclipses the other."

I say: I don't agree at all. I mean, I do agree that we live in a male dominated society, but I don't agree that men need women, and women need men in ways that opposing cultural groups do not. I fact I'm not even sure that a "need" exists at all. It's probably more of a cultural expected and accepted behavior than a need (However, I refuse to be held to that statement).

If I were to make a racist statement, I might say that Whites need Blacks to perform the menial chores that keep society churning and that Blacks need Whites to maintain stability and security in society. My goodness, if we were to substitute "men" for "Whites", "women" for "Blacks", and "family" for "society", the above racist statement would become a sexist statement.

But John, I'm sure that you are talking about other kinds of needs; emotional needs, companionship, physical and sexual needs, etc. But, again, are these really needs? Can they only be provided by a member of the opposite sex? Or are we just packaging our everyday behaviors in fancy wrapping?

I'm sorry John, but for me, it's still an issue in black and white.