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Voice Card  -  Volume 21  -  Paul Card Number 10  -  Wed, Sep 11, 1991 4:28 PM







Date: 91-09-11 01:58:43 EDT
From: P King Duk
Subj: More contributions
To: JohnCartan
  • "...and there he was, gone!"

    - Overheard in a Galway pub

  • "The training will begin in July and commence in December."

    - Internal training memo

  • "I will not be unavailable for most of, if not all, of this week. Please refer all urgent matters to [deleted]."

    - Memo from unidentified colleague

  • "We manage to poke our head out the window...a little bit after we go to sleep."

    - Columbia Space Shuttle crew member

  • "The military received the largest ticker tape parade in the history of New York. Over five tons of graffiti was dropped."

    - Newscaster on channel 7 KABC-TV

  • "You have a choice here of what you want to choose."

    - Unidentified colleague

  • "He chanced his arm, and it came off."

    - Trevor Bailey, BBC Radio 3, on cricket

  • "They're as synonymous with baseball as the game itself."

    - NPR sports correspondent

  • "We are unable to predict drying conditions today. However, we do expect them to be poorer in areas with more frequent showers."

    - RTE weather forecast

  • "It really just boils down to two words...democracy, and the marketization of their economy."

    - US Nat'l Security Advisor Brent Scowcroft

  • "Out of Order, Leak on Roof"

    - Men's room sign, GTE Sylvania, Danvers, MA

  • "You don't get from today to tomorrow overnight."

    - Heard in a discussion

  • "MICROWAVE IN USE", "MAXIMUM CAPACITY 75"

    - Adjacent signs in a Burger King restaurant.

  • "This new market will develop as follows: the innovators will lead, and the laggards will come behind."

    - Consultant Briefing

  • "The open-air concert by Luciano Pavarotti in Hyde Park last night was still a success last night..."

    - VNS #2377, Main News

  • "Parking Difficult when car park full."

    - "Where to Drink in Berkshire" Camra Guide

  • "The median price of houses in Melbourne is now $150,500. Some houses are cheaper, and some are much more expensive."

    - Rod McNeil, Radio 3LO

  • "Rare species, if you don't find them for a year or two and you say they're extinct, they have a way of coming back."

    - "The Capital," Annapolis, MD

  • "I'm not the one to blame anyone, but it was definitely Viv Richard's fault."

    - Fred Trueman, BBC Radio 3

  • "Mansell is almost metaphorically in sight of the chequered flag."

    - Murray Walker, BBC2

  • Dave Lee Travis: "So, where are you from?"
    Listener: "York, Dave."
    DLT: "Aaah, York in... er..."
    Listener: "Yorkshire, Dave."

    - Interview on BBC Radio 1

  • "Cardial - as in cardial arrest."

    - Eve Pollard, Channel 4

  • "Labour are pushing lies thorugh our doorstep."

    - William Waldegrave, BBC Radio 4

  • "Pres. Bush has agreed to trade concessions for the Soviet Union."

    [The mind boggles. What would he trade for, say, France? - rfb]

    - VNS #2342 Main News

  • "This is the first of a regular publication of 'In The Safety Lane'."

    - In The Safety Lane, Volume 3 No. 5

  • "When she's in a groove, she's awesome. When she's not in a groove, she pulls herself out of it."

    - High school softball coach

  • Menu item: "Vegetarian Delight: Pork Fried Rice and one appetizer"

    - "Chopsticks" fast food Chinese restaurant

  • "The days seem to be getting longer as the days get longer."

    - Unidentified colleague

  • "Won't last at $103,000 [crossed out] $99,500 [crossed out] $94,500!"

    - Ad for a house, Northampton, MA

  • "In a conference call, IBM told analysts it didn't expect to post a loss in the second period, but cautioned that `it really depends on revenue production.'"

    - The Wall Street Journal, 21 Jun 91

  • "CORRECT GRAMMER rereads the latest edit before moving on. This feature lets you correct and edit your wiring in one pass."

    - Product brochure

  • "Free admission passes to The Computer Museum are available at no cost to Digital employees"

    - EAC newsletter

  • "We kept ourselves going because we believed the corner would turn."

    - Dave Bassett, BBC Radio 4

  • "She's as safe as an olive."

    - David Coleman, BBC1 TV

  • "Scott Gibbs, the nineteen year old, now twenty."

    - Bill Maclaren, BBC1 TV

  • "The shape of the business cycle is such that the shoe is pinching."

    - Dominic Harrod, BBC Radio 4

  • "This is the first step in a chain that will unfold."

    - David Mellor, BBC Radio 4

  • "A good indication of randomness... is that a high number is followed by a lower one about as often as a low number follows a higher one."

    - "Islands of Truth" by Ivars Peterson

  • "Unchlorinated water was released into the drinking supply of a large area north west of London yesterday. The water company wormed people..."

    - VNS #2370 Main News

  • "That's the first time I've been licked by a fifteen year old."

    - Martina Navratilovav

  • "...and Cork are still standing, but on bended knee."

    - Unidentified hurling commentator

  • "We are putting the passengers in the driving seat."

    - British Rail spokesman

  • "Colleagues and friends expressed shock and disbelief over her death by cancer because she did not let it interfere with her work."

    - Canadian Math Society Notes 23, no. 5

  • "It's just water over the bridge anyway."

    - Favorite saying of nearby colleague

  • "You get two good women on grass, and there's nothing better."

    - Budd Collins, at women's Wimbledon final

  • "That is easily going to be very difficult."

    - Robert Segal, on NPR's All Things Considered

  • "That's the crucial point, if the ball is passed backwards it can't possibly be a forward pass."

    - Australian rugby commentator

  • "You'll find it perfect for those rare emergencies that happen so frequently in business these days."

    - MCI advertisement in Business Week

  • "42 tons, how heavy is that?"

    - ITV presenter talking to the world's strongest man

  • "He should be considered not guilty until he is found innocent."

    - All Things Considered announcer, NPR

  • "When you come to Westport House and Children's Zoo, you only pay once. Then you can visit any of the attractions, many of which are free ..."

    - Radio Advertisement on Galway Bay FM

  • "Goats and Kids for Sale"

    - Sign near York, PA, USA

  • "Tonight's weather, partly sunny; tonight at 10:00."

    - Mike Madison, KKTV

  • "The Ottonian age began with Otto the First."

    - History textbook

  • "They're going to get their fair share of unfair criticism."

    - Tony Wedgwood, KPMG Peat Marwick McLintock

  • "There's no damage to the car apart from the car itself."

    - BBC1 Grand Prix commentator Murray Walker

  • "All the weather is located in the southeastern part of the country today."

    - Local weatherman

  • "ALL ORDERS PROCESSED SAME DAY 95% OF THE TIME."

    - Banner in aisle at DAS site

  • "Rajiv Gandhi was not the man his mother was the woman."

    Sir Eldon Griffiths, BBC Radio 4

  • "It's a political hot potato round their necks..."

    - Dr Marks, Radio 4

  • "Those memories of that final are now just memories."

    - John Virgo, BBC TV

  • "Short of a major scandal, that band [Huey Lewis and The News] will continue to make records and entertain people for 25 years, as will this next artist, the late Jim Croce."

    - Dave Lee Travis, BBC

  • Phil Upton: When are you 18?
    Caller: Next Tuesday.
    Phil Upton: So that's your birthday?

    - BRMB Radio (Birmingham, UK)

  • "This is the first time he has been back to Wimbledon since the last time he was here."

    - Harry Carpenter, BBC TV - Wimbledon '91

  • "I think we're confusing these two issues, the carrot's really a red herring."

    - Former DECcie in on contract work

  • "All movies 99c, New releases $1.49"

    - Video rental store sign, San Bernardino, CA

  • "He's a minefield of information."

    - Dave Eaton, DEC New Zealand

  • "Could this be championship point, with Sabatini's serve to follow?"

    -Dan Maskell, BBC 1 Tennis Commentator

  • "In line with our Summer schedules, tomorrow's first news on RTE 1 will be at 3.00 and 4.00."

    - RTE 1 News

  • "And the next thing I knew, I was lying unconscious on the ground."

    - Survivor of a lightning strike

  • "I went running through the woods near my house for the first time in a long time, something I had never done before."

    - Unidentified collegue

  • "These animals are slaughtered while practically alive."

    - Richard Wilson, BBC Radio 5

  • "Free Children with Adult Rental"

    - Sign at video rental store, Franklin, MA

  • "They had a really hard childhood, early in life."

    - Interview on NBC TV, Today Show

  • "It's slightly further but the distance is the same."

    - unidentified VAX marketing manager

  • "Some of the football Chelsea have played this afternoon is synonymous with some of the football Chelsea can play."

    - Capital Gold Reporter

  • "I never predict anything and I never will do."

    - Paul Gascoigne, BBC Radio

  • "My seven year old, who is now ten..."

    - Lady Olga Maitland, Anglia TV

  • "And in their second game of the season, Lancashire have at last notched up a victory."

    - Anon. cricket commentator

  • "Faith, Hope and Charity, Love is the greatest of these three."

    - Frances Nero, BBC TV - Top of the Pops

  • "No athlete likes wind unless it's from behind."

    - David Coleman, BBC1

  • "They always give me lifts, sometimes."

    - Contestant at the Rose of Tralee, when asked what her brothers were good for

  • PETER H.: This was Gordon Jackson's last TV role.
    PETER'S WIFE: Oh, did he do this before he died, then?

    - Family conversation

  • "Arguably, Carl Lewis is without question the best long-jumper ever."

    - Unidentified sports commentator on NPR

  • "USE ANY COIN COMBINATION, DO NOT USE PENNIES"

    - Sign on Boston Globe Vending Machine



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