Suzanne:

Don't be too hard on yourself. The way in which mathematics is (usually) taught these days is a disgrace. Mathematics is the purest of all art forms, and should be taught with a sense of wonder. Instead, most students are subjected to page after page of squigly symbols while a distant voice drones on endlessly. There is no passion! No attempt to make a connection to the student's world!

A lot of this stuff is actually pretty simple once it's explained in plain English by someone who really cares.