First off, I must add that in addition to the Christmas tree, there was a beautiful, shiny brass menorah, with gailey colored candles flickering brightly in the Brazy/Cartan living room!! (You're welcome, Betsy!)

Indeed, the Bird Woman of Alcatraz HAD escaped! Instead of making environmental license plates, B.W. had secretly gathered scraps from the plate presses. Using these and wire from the springs of her prison cot, she was able to recreate a crude version of the destructive circuitry she had invented. The guards hardly noticed her implanting them into the local ravens she fed daily. "Another one with a wierd fetish," they would say, noticing her strange attraction to the birds. "Well, this IS San Francisco!"

B.W. had also created a volatile explosive by collecting the ravens' guano. She attached her Timex to the pile, and the explosion went off at exactly 3 pm, one of the guard shift changes, sending her and her mad robot ravens flying to freedom.

"I think, my feathered fiends - oh, I mean FREINDS - we shall take a nice trip to Golden Gate Park," B.W. squawked, as they soared over Fisherman's Wharf and swooped to the right over the City Hall. "How does that sound?" The birds shrieked with delight. They knew it would be the perfect starting point for their evil plan. The circuitry in their brains not only made them hyperintelligent and able to communicate easily with B.W., it enabled them to infiltrate the rest of the human population by...

(So there, John! And now, because I am as cruel as the Bird Woman, I nominate Paul to sort this thing out!)