You know, Bush is always comparing me to Elvis in sort of unflattering ways. I don't think Bush would have liked Elvis very much, and that's another thing that's wrong with him.
---Bill Clinton

My motto is, don't get mad, don't get even, just get elected. Then get even.
---James Carville, Clinton strategist

Who am I? Why am I here?
---Admiral James Stockdale

I mean, if black people kill black people every day, why not have a week and kill white people.
---Sister Souljah

I look back at my 30 years in the Senate and I think that I can truthfully say that after about 12 years I'd about shot my wad.
---Barry Goldwater

Are they taking DDT?
---Dan Quayle, asking staff members at a hospital about their AIDS patients. Staffers explained that DDT is a pesticide and he probably meant AZT.

We are enjoying sluggish times, and not enjoying them very much.
---George Bush

I can't think of a better way to spread the message of world peace than by working with the NFL and being part of Super Bowl XXVII.
---Michael Jackson

There he stands, looking down at his notes, trying to remember how he feels.
---Rush Limbaugh, commenting on Bush at the Republican convention

George Bush won by not losing. Bill Clinton lost by not winning.
---Tom Shales, on the debate

My dog Millie knows more about foreign affairs than those two bozos.
---George Bush, on Clinton and Gore

Nearly everyone will lie to you, given the right circumstances.
---Bill Clinton

He's a candidate for change. He changes his mind every day.
---Dan Quayle, on Bill Clinton

For too long, the men have messed things up. It's time to give women an opportunity.
---Dianne Feinstein

I'm a revolutionary, and yes, it's a burden.
---Madonna

If there's a fairer way, I'm all ears.
---Ross Perot, deflecting questions about his proposed tax increases

I'll put you down as doubtful, fella.
---George Bush, to a caller on "Larry King Live," who said "I think you're out of touch."

Ross Perot had more trouble entering a race than anybody since Michael Jackson.
---Arsenio Hall

His sensitivity is such that if he reread his memoirs, he'd be outraged that they're not favorable enough.
---Walter Isaacson, on Kissinger

P-O-T-A-T-O-E
---Dan Quayle, telling a boy he had misspelled potato

You want a wife that's intelligent, but not too intelligent.
---Richard Nixon

When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn't like it and didn't inhale and never tried it again.
---Bill Clinton

I like to play the saxophone because you don't inhale.
---Bill Clinton

You cannot be president of the United States if you don't have faith. Remember Lincoln, going to his knees in times of trial and the Civil War and all that stuff. You can't be. And we are blessed. So don't feel sorry for - and don't cry for me, Argentina.
---George Bush, on who knows what

Nobody has ever had a Duncan Hunter check returned for insufficient funds.
---Rep. Duncan Hunter, before it was disclosed that he had 407 overdrafts at the House of Reps bank

All I have ever been is a normal down-to-earth person.
---Tammy Faye Bakker

I've been here so long that when I got here, the Dead Sea wasn't even sick.
---Wimp Sanderson, basketball coach at the University of Alabama for 32 years

Replacing (Rep. Gus) Savage with even a stalk of celery would elevate the intellectual and moral tone of Congress.
---George Will

There are two things I've learned in life: You should never race a guy named Flash and never bring a girl named Bubbles home to meet your mother. Both of which I've done by the way.
---Burt Reynolds

I don't want to be accused of child abuse.
---Pat Buchanan, on refusing to get into a war of words with Dan Quayle

Get this (economic plan) passed. Later on, we can debate it.
---George Bush

If Jerry Brown is the answer, it must be a peculiar question.
---Senator Lloyd Bentsen

I like to hurt women when I make love to them. I like to hear them scream with pain, to see them bleed.
---Mike Tyson

Paul Tsongas is too responsible to be president.
---Richard Nixon

It does have redeeming value, coaching at the college level - unless it's USC.
---Bill Walsh, returning to the college football coaching ranks

The last time (ESPN announcer Dick) Vitale said anything that made sense was when the doctor slapped him on the behind.
---Bill Fitch, former professional basketball coach

I came from a disadvantaged home. They were Republicans.
---Paul Tsongas

While searching for the causes of our social ills, we could choose to blame the media, the Congress, or the administration that has been in power for 12 years - or we could blame me.
---Murphy Brown, during the season premiere of the show

My doctor ordered me to shut up, which will make the American people happy.
---Bill Clinton, explaining doctor's orders to rest his vocal cords

It's a screwy year.
---George Bush