1) Poured soup in my ear while they played the tuba just above my head.

2) Rubbed me in graded gorgonzola cheese.

3) Spun me around in the dryer under the "delicate fabrics" setting.

4) Farted on me (my dad only).

5) Stuck cocktail shrimps up my nose.

6) Played Nixon's Checkers' Speech to me over and over again as I was trying to fall asleep.

7) Something diabolical with anchoives - what it was exactly, I forget. Maybe it will come out under hypnosis.

I think you're doing a great job as a pop, Larry. Congratulations.

And Hello, Betsy! Byte by byte, I feel I'm slowly making your acquaintance. Howdy!